and now for something completely different - venice.
but without the gondolas (which is quite a painful and embarrassing condition, particularly for men) ...

anyway, here is a peep at one of the world's most famous drinking places.
venice

it's all you're getting because i didn't go in.

it was shut.

maybe next time!

there now follows a taster i nicked off the internet, just to whet your whistle ...

You'll know it as the place they invented the Bellini – one third peach juice, two thirds cold prosecco – and the bar Hemingway wrote about in Across the River and Into the Trees. When the annual film festival hits Venice, it's where you'll find Nicole Kidman and Woody Allen. It's always been haunted by celebrities: Bogart and Bacall, and Sophia Loren used to come here. Orson Welles would floor two bottles of Dom Perignon at a sitting. Tourists read about it in their guides as a must-see, and are mildly appalled by its utilitarian, caramel-Bakelite colouring, but its many regulars are entranced and come back for more, despite its stupendously expensive prices. For this is a crucial milestone in the world history of bars. It was opened in 1931 by Giuseppe Cipriani, who invented the Bellini (named after the painter Giovanni B.) and also, apparently, the carpaccio of beef (ditto – Vittore C.), and not a lot has changed in 70 years. Its original monogram of a cocktail-shaking waiter is seen on everything, like a guarantee of ancient style. Its "Senator's Table", reserved for distinguished locals, is used for visiting Italian guest stars, just as it was in the 1930s and 1950s.

They don't do beer or wine here, but the martinis are fabulous, as are the classic cocktails: Manhattans and whisky sours. A Bellini will set you back $15 (£10) while the shaving of beef is a stonking £35. But you're paying to drink in a piece of history.

San Marco 1323, C. Vallaresso, 30124 Venezia, Italy (00 41 528 5777)